Discontent

I have come to be thinking in terms of the future, never quite living up to the moment. Except on rare occasions when there is something exciting going on in that moment. Be that as it may, I am still spending the majority of my time prior to this event looking forward to it, and saying things such as “if only it were this day and time!” or “I cannot wait any longer for this!.” Of course, this way of thinking is never beneficial. I always speed through life wishing for the future and when the future finally comes it goes past just as fast as the time spent waiting for it. I should spend less time worrying anxiously for the exciting things that are to come and more time cherishing the excitement and enjoyment of being privileged enough to experience them. Nevertheless, I am but merely a human. A human of the female sex I might add, who makes hasty decisions, justifies all she does, and whose mood cannot even decide for itself whether or not to be stable at any given time. Oh, why can’t things turn out the way they should? If I could but pray something and God send forth his mighty powers to make it come to pass, I should be a happy woman. Spoiled, but happy. Yet even with all this complaining stated, I know that through perseverance and obedience God rewards those who wait on His timing. Therefore, I shall attempt to carry my cross daily and walk in His will rather than my own. Forgetting about the future and living for today. Which by no means is an easy feat.